LESSON: The scars of extreme adversity can run deep but think of them as reminders to live our best lives forward. Scars can add wisdom and perspective, and they can encourage us to focus on the big picture and not spend our lives in the minutia of mere existence. They can be our gift.
The below lesson is an excerpt from my recently released Amazon #1 Best Seller, When Not If: A CEO's Guide to Overcoming Adversity, Forbes Books, 2024.
I am constantly asked, “Would you make the same decisions again? Would you still reject three federal plea offers and stand up for what you believed was right?”
I always answer affirmatively that I would, and although we never truly know these answers until we are facing the fire, I still think these were, for me, the correct answers. I don’t believe we came down to the planet this time around to seek the most comfortable existence. I imagine we are meant to struggle, grow, achieve, and overcome, and this is our journey, our reason for living - raison d'être. Sure, life can be enjoyable when everything is going our way, but I don’t think that is why we go to all the trouble of attempting the human experience
Most mornings I awake at 5:30 a.m., tiptoe up the stairs to my home office to start my long list of projects, and take a few quiet moments to thank the mysterious universe for my survival, but mostly for the incredible miracles I cannot explain.
My family, work, close friends, and numerous new missions give my days and weeks incredible hope and inspiration to make this next chapter of my life an even more exciting journey.
I’m also often asked, “What is the greatest lesson I’ve learned from this odyssey?”
When I was twenty-nine years old, doctors told me I had cancer. My therapy included immediate surgery and then an intense radiation program. Through that battle, and for many years after, I said a morning prayer of appreciation for everyone and everything. I wanted to hold onto that cancer-scare feeling to understand just how precious every day truly was. In that sense, cancer was a gift. Then somewhere along the way, as with so many things, I let the prayers fade. I forgot the intense appreciation of every single day. Well, now through this whole journey I’ve shared with you, I’ve been given another gift.
I hated every second of seven years in prison, but I remember also not enjoying nearly every second of my four years at the Air Force Academy. My father would constantly advise, “Afterwards, you will be extremely proud you made it through.” And, of course, my father was right.
In a similar, mysterious way, I am extremely proud of making it through this horrific challenge and beginning to experience the other end of the tunnel. I often borrow Malcolm Gladwell’s stories of turning disadvantages into advantages as I believe he has rightly focused on the locus of character. I pray I will be worthy of these narratives and be able to keep the faith and finish the race.
I keep telling Ashleigh I am looking forward to one day laughing, singing, and even dancing, again. Not in my fake, self-coached, exterior-armor-way, but to really let my guard down, be vulnerable, and feel like it’s okay—with neither guilt nor remorse, but in acceptance of what the poet Mary Oliver calls “your one wild and precious life.”
Have a great week!
Order Amazon #1 Best Seller When Not If (Hardback, Kindle, Audio): https://www.amazon.com/When-Not-If-Overcoming-Adversity/dp/B0CKWTYSFF/r and on Audible https://www.audible.com/pd/B0D2LQ6QNC and Chirp When Not If by John Kador & Jeff Martinovich - Audiobook (chirpbooks.com).
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